


Without You

by CirillaShepard



Series: Solipsism [7]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Keprals Cure, Keprals Syndrome, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 09:55:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10242032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CirillaShepard/pseuds/CirillaShepard
Summary: When a memory feels as real as life, it's as valid as life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> **DISCLAIMER**  
> I do not own anything from the Mass Effect game series (unfortunately) but BioWare does.  
> Damn them.  
> I’m just borrowing their characters for fun when my muse grabs me.
> 
> * * *
> 
>   
> Come say "hi" to me on [Tumblr](memoryandthought.tumblr.com)

Without You  
“Sing something new, I have nothing left…I can’t face the dark without you…”  


* * *

In between the interminable ticking of the clock on the wall, the steady beep-beep-beep of the machinery around me and the slow passage of the sun past my window I think and I slip into memories.  
It does not comfort me as much as it once did.  
I have grown restless, impatient and my legs ache and cry out to be used. I need to move, to walk – to exercise my body as well as my mind before the two split apart completely.  
I press the bell to call a nurse to my room and after what feels like a lifetime spent convincing her that I can take a little exercise and get out into the sun for a while; I pick up my omni-tool and send a message to Shepard:  
_“Siha,_  
I have been given something of a reprieve. Join me outside in the hospital courtyard. I think we both need some time to relax, some calm before the storm.  
Thane.”  
Not even a minute later, her reply comes back:  
_“Thane,_  
I’ll be there in 5, can’t wait.”

I smile and slowly make my way outside.  


* * *

I stand with my back to the hospital, my face tilted up to the strong rays of the sun.  
It warms me, I feel it sinking into my skin and coursing through my veins.  
As I stand with my eyes closed, face tilted upwards in a silent worship of the sun, I hear her approaching on cat-quiet feet behind me.  
A smile tugs my lips and I remain still as I sense her footsteps stilling, her hand alights on my shoulder with a touch so delicate it’s as though it’s not there.  
I turn and embrace the woman that has captured my heart, arms wrapped tightly around her lithe body; her head nestled in the crook of my neck as though she were made to fit just there.  
  
“I have missed you, Siha,” I rumble, knowing she can feel my voice vibrate through her body with how close I’m holding her.  
“Thane,” she murmurs into my neck; breath tickling deliciously over my skin, “I missed you, too.”  
  
I pull away slightly, just enough to let a whisper of air between us; curl a finger under her chin and tilt her face up to mine.  
Her lips curve into the wicked little smile that makes me weak with love and desire simultaneously and then there is nothing but the feel of her lips on mine and for a moment it’s just us in that sunlit hospital courtyard.  
We part, her face flushed and my breathing mildly laboured. She looks at me, concerned until I smile at her and the worry lines between her eyebrows smooth out.  
I am the first to break the embrace and I take her hand, leading her through the courtyard to a small grassy area that is partially obscured by a crumbling wall and sturdy trees with thick gnarled trunks. There is a bench tucked away under a weeping willow tree, an old fountain trickling musically next to it and a picnic basket and blanket spread out nearby.  
Shepard smiles at me – a full, proper, bright smile that takes my breath away and tugs me towards the blanket. I chuckle at her impatience and shake my head, pulling her back to me.  
  
“Not yet, Siha, I have a something else in mind first.”  
“Uh…huh…” she arches an eyebrow, emerald eyes narrowing in mock suspicion.  
“I thought that you might like to join me while I go through my Tai Chi routine.”  
“I didn’t know you practised, Thane,” she quirks her lips, “but that sounds wonderful. What do I need to do?”  
  
I stand behind her and make sure she is in the correct starting stance, my fingers lingering on her shoulders for a moment as I take in her unmistakable scent.  
Moving so I am slightly in front of her, I slowly begin my routine; closing my eyes as I flow from one position to the other, knowing she would pick it up easily.  
I angle my head to see her in my peripheral vision, moving in perfect synchronicity with me; her eyes closed and her face as peaceful as I’ve ever seen it.  
She is framed by the sunlight slanting through the trees and it creates something of a halo around her hair; her skin looks like porcelain and as I watch her she looks like something fragile and I am overcome with the desire to protect her.  
Her chest rises and falls with steady breaths, her lips parted just slightly and I am filled with the memories of us together; tangled in sheets and each other, skin flushed and eyes dazed; the scent of us a heady perfume.  
Desire and lust slams into me, forcing my heart to start a staccato beat in my chest and I know that I have to be careful or privacy be damned I will bring her trembling and shaking in a matter of moments.  
She shifts, opens one eye and a wry grin flits across her face, “I don’t think that’s part of the routine, Krios.”  
Her light, teasing tone is the end of my resolve.  


* * *

After, we lay on the picnic blanket; thoroughly exhausted and sated, glad of the crumbling wall and overly large trees that obscured us from view.  
I hear a soft laugh and slant my eyes in its direction; head tilting in a universal gesture meaning “what’s so funny?”  
“I can’t believe we just…hmm…” she trails off and raises bright eyes to meet mine before she chuckles again.  
“Perhaps not the best of locations, but…” I smile and she moves to rest her head on my chest.  
“Thank you,” she says quietly, “for today. I needed this. A moment of light in the dark.”  
“As did I, Siha, as did I,” I take a slow breath, my hand stroking through her hair; “I have something to tell you.”  
She sits up, cross-legged and purses her lips, “sounds serious, Thane. What’s wrong?”  
“You recall I mentioned that the Hanar were working on something of a cure for Keprals? Talk of lung transplants and blood transfusions?”  
“Yes. Doctor Chakwas mentioned that you’d spoken to her about it but had declined to put your name on the list for it.”  
“Mhm,” I sit, facing her and take her hands in mine; “I have asked to be considered for the treatment.”  
  
The shock and surprise on her face is wonderful.  
  
Her eyes widen as her lips curve into that beautiful heart-stopping smile and her fingers tighten around mine as she leans forward and brushes an achingly sweet kiss over my lips  
“Are you sure? What changed your mind?”  
“I have found more than one reason to wish to extend my time here. Spending time with my son has been a big influence on my decision. But there was something else that was the main focus of my choice.”  
“What?” She asks the question so softly I don’t think I would have heard had she not been so close.  
I reach a hand up and trace gentle patterns over her cheek, cupping her face tenderly before kissing her with as much meaning and promise as I can, “Now I have found you, I am not ready to let you go just yet.”  
“Thane,” she whispers against my lips, “I don’t think I could do this; face this darkness without you.”  
I embrace her then, no more words needed as the weight of my choice settles around us and gives us comfort and hope in an otherwise bleak feeling world.


End file.
